& you're all I'm thinking of Monday, September 12, 2011 @6:35 PM
hello. first day of school today. blah. I feel dead. woke up really awakeish with no problem at all like, I thought I'd be really tired. but I was so awake. it felt so strange. anywayyy. I don't know. school was normal. like any other day. the same loneliness. went out for kfc after school with Maye. homework + roaming around. (: I don't know. I think that was the best part of my day cause today sucked. like every other day. freaking tired now. I want my holidays back. have 4 HCL compos to do by wednesday. nice right.
anywayy. the past few days were alright. went to clementi with Maye for more physics on thursday. IMM with my mum and sisters on friday. yay I found my beloved whales :D ex though. choir in the evening. and yes, again, my dad picked me up. >:( saturday I stayed at home all day and did chinese homework. and read (: safe haven is wonderful. sunday church. as usual I guess. and today. I'm. dying.
reading has become my escape from reality. for hours I just sit there and read my wonderful books and forget my life. for moments I feel the joy and heartache in them for that period of time I don't have to be me and when I'm done, reality just hits me like a slap on my face. and I fall
fall
fall
down.
I try to smile but I can't. my facade is failing me. and I wonder if I'm just gonna have to deal with this the next year of my life, too. nothing ever goes my way. I don't know, I don't know what I did wrong. what I did to deserve this. and then I'm just so lost. so confused. no one ever explains to me. I want to set things right, but I don't know how to. I'm trying. I'm trying so hard but it doesn't ever matter. I don't want to cry anymore. the heartache hits my chest like physical pain. what do you expect me to do?
I'm
invisible
I'm
me.
no
one
gives
a
damn.
selfish, judgemental bastards, humans are. then again, I'm one too.
don't worry. this is just a story. I'm perfectly fine. perfectly perfectly smiling and happy and fine. I'm just trying to be creative like my books. yes, yes I am. really.
didn't want to post anymore emo posts but sorry I fail. I just need to vent. I'd write on my notebook, but if I do, I can't do things like... that. up there. argh. forget it.
no mood to do anything else but mooch around on the computer and read. can't forget this: I still have 4 chinese compos to do. thankyouverymuch, now if you'll excuse me, I have to go do something else... more... productive. ah well. byees (:
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& JUST ME, Étoile ★
G R A C E G U A N ♥ the original grace
FMSS1E'o9/2E'1o/3F'11/4F'12
30 Jan, her day.
the-blue-danube@hotmail.com
Fairfield Symphonic Band,
French Horn
`Music is my life. In love with dogs and cats and hamsters and bunnies and dolphins and whales. Dandelions & mimosas brighten my day.
`Socially awkward, but at least I'm trying. Cause I know, one day the skies will be clear again. TwitterFacebook TumblrAsk me anything